From the Grammar Police

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign…

We’ll give a Toy Yoda* to the first person who can explain how you would prepare to be amazed.

*(Disclaimer: Not really. Not a real giveaway. Just a joke. Happy, “Horribly Wrong” lawyers?)

This sign is urging someone named Thirsty to enjoy a Big Gulp. Punctuation! Try this: “Thirsty? Enjoy a Big Gulp!”

Keith Nelson

4:00 p.m. means four in the afternoon. 1400 means two in the afternoon. 14:00 p.m. means…?

Delighted? Really?
We’ve talked about hyperbole. But this is a high-end Manhattan hotel. Service is everything. Is hyperbole allowed? Especially when the place uses classy words such as retiring? Readers?

When you misplace modifiers, you create an image necrophiliacs like, but everyone else will spend the day un-remembering it.

This still is one of our favorite chronics. It’s the old maligned comma. Help! It seems we always see it in medical warnings. Sure seems that’s where you should write clearly. Here’s what this says:

•Get medical help right away if you have trouble breathing or swallowing.

•Get medical help right away if you have swelling of the face, lips, tongue or throat.

•Get medical help right away if you have arms.



And it’s an easy fix! “Get medical help right right away if you have trouble breathing or swallowing or swelling of the face, lips, tongue, throat or arms.”

And we go to the video archives! Click for Segment 2: More Redundancies

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators.