From the Grammar Police

Stay focued!

This checks so many redundancy redundacy boxes! “Attention” is superfluous, but we’ll let that one go. But can anyone successfully argue why we need “Jan 5th?” Say it aloud: “We will be closed starting Dec. 31 and will open Jan. 6 at our new location.” Done.

Welcome Miss Place Modifier!

Pam DaValle

The Horribly Wrong team shares everyone’s heartbreak at the devastating January 2025 wildfires in Southern California. This misplaced-modifier headline suggests the pregnant wife burned down with the house. Good news: She didn’t. It also suggests the actor choked up during a talk with a reporter while the house burned. It was afterward.

Oy! Misplacing that modifier is no mitzvah. Your elbow is not a leather-covered box filled with prayer scrolls.

She didn’t split three years ago at the 2025 Grammys. That would require time travel. It was at the 2025 Grammys when she discussed her split of three years earlier.

These are misplaced modifiers. No one ordered DEI employees or a student or federal workers or a deported man or charges to do anything. Others were ordered do these things.

Another misplacement. Yeesh. Some inside baseball: In the internet age, with stories posted right away, reporters began writing that someone “did not immediately respond to requests for comment.” The idea was to clean up the story later for print. In this case, maybe this is a way-too-pushy reporter.

Here’s another. Shepard didn’t get arrested after finding the items in a storage unit belonging to Shepard. He got arrested after authorities found the items.

And, yeah, this one, too. This was not the worst market drop since 2020 over tariffs. It was the worst market drop since 2020, period. The one in 2020 was over COVID.

This satire page, poking fun at Hollywood’s diversity, was suggesting the comedian sued Hollywood because he was overly white. But this headline is saying it’s Hollywood that’s overly white. Satire is much funnier when it makes sense.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 88: Ben Franklin’s Hat.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and hometown so we properly can credit you. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign!

Hank Kleinberg

We’ve talked often about clarity. We’ve called out confusing signs before. The one on the left here is in California. Does it mean that after 7 p.m., you can park as long as you want? Or not at all? The sign on the right was in Florida. It could mean, “No loitering. Police are watching.” Or, it could mean, “No loitering. And police, if you’re out there, keep an eye out.” Which is it"?

We recently visited a restaurant where the food was good; the apostrophes not so much.

“Horribly Wrong” is not about politics. It’s about grammar. Either violate the apostrophe rule, or don’t.

Photo: Two donuts. Text: One donut. Which is it? We can guess.

Wow. A savings of five-hundredths of one penny. What a deal.

The common lay/lie goof! Usually it’s the other way around. Here, you would lay something down. This note is instructing you to get flat on the ground, and whatever you do, don’t stand!

And we go to the video archives for Segment 87: Modifiers More Misplaced.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

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From the Grammar Police

Your right!

Hank Kleinberg

Which is more depressing: The people who made this, or the person who bought it?

Lead is a metallic substance. It’s not the past tense of lead. The past tense is led.

Inexplicably means in a way you can’t explain. This quote needed inextricably, which means in a way that can’t be separated.

Missile fragments weren’t launched into Israel. Say: “…from fragments of missiles launched into Israel…”

Firings is plural. Fear, in this case, is treated as singular. So: “Fear of FBI mass firings ramps up.”

Imagine all those locals and vistors (visitors?) who were broken up by crashing surf, wind and sand, but still were drawn to this ship’s story. Stirring.

We are going to guess they don’t want to know how you enjoyed doing the survey. Easy fix: “If you get a survey and enjoyed your experience here…”

If a headline says a meteor impact was caught on camera, SHOW IT! And don’t make things worse by showing a different meteor which landed in a different part of the world and which is just sitting there.

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
Motion: Recently a TV anchor said, “The New York Times Editorial Board wrote an op-ed this week…” An op-ed is an essay, almost always by a guest writer, that appears on the page opposite the editorials. Why it’s called op-ed. So did the Times editorial board write an op-op-ed? Actually, just an editorial.
Rules Committee: CONCUR.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 86: Without Fear or Favor.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Don’t be koi! We must flea! Homonyms are a tacking the city!

Homophones are words that sound the same but are different in meaning or spelling. Homographs are spelled the same, but differ in meaning or pronunciation. Homonyms can be either or even both. When you use them wrong, readers aren’t shore what you mean.

A core tenet is a fundamental belief. A core tenant would be…your best renter?

We covered this in June 2024. ”Diffuse” is an adjective for less concentrated (“diffuse scent.”) You defuse a bomb. The “fuse” part is a clue.

When sake complements the meal, you should compliment the chef.

You say your piece. (Also, who’s Eve Fiance? We suspect they meant Eve’s fiancé.)

An impressive trifecta. The old in route/en route goof. Plus an apostrophe where it shouldn’t be, and a required one that’s not there. What a grammar route. Err, rout.

But wait! There’s more!

We all are feeling the pain from rising egg prices. But this place has instituted a surcharge of just a half penny.

This says, “If you’re thinking about drinking the milk and then returning it for a refund, don’t!“ Surely the writer meant, “Don’t drink; return for refund.” (“And don’t call me Shirley!”)

First of all, “shock waves” is two words. More importantly, this is a brutal cliche!

Correct. Two words. Still a brutal cliche.

Of course, this is redundant. Everyone is aging. Even babies. The only time seniors aren’t aging is…Oh. Never mind.

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
The Horribly Wrong team has asserted many times that impact is not a verb, and we will die on that hill (cliché.) On Jan. 12, 2025, we revisited (repeated) a 2021 segment that dealt with the issue. That prompted longtime reader and occasional contributor Robert Kleinberg to move for a ruling:
“If the dictionary added the word impact as a verb, why do you say it’s not? Didn’t all of the rules of language that changed over the centuries inform the rules we now follow?”
The Rules Committee (Lou Ann) opines:
“Just because a word is in the dictionary doesn’t mean it’s good writing. ‘Impact’ as a transitive verb has been around for hundreds of years, but in the interest of good usage, clear usage, it should be kept out of professional writing. Oddly enough, the stylebook (the Associated Press style book, one of our bibles), doesn’t address it, other than in a Q&A reference in which the AP editor says ‘effect’ is preferred.”
CONTINUED for further debate.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 85: Just the facts.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Awesome!

A June 2024 segment discussed hyperbole. Longtime reader and occasional contributor Ramesh Nyberg recently reported getting a voice mail from a doctor’s office that ended with, “If you could call us back today, that would be amazing.” Wow. This person has a pretty low threshold for excitement.

Recent government actions have led news outlets to use the terms firings and layoffs interchangeably. They are not the same! Fired means terminated for actions or performance, while laid off means dismissed for reasons such as restructuring or cost-cutting. Court judgments have set the precedent that in order to be laid off, your position has to have been eliminated. Otherwise, you were fired. Some companies get around this by making your position go away but hiring someone else for a position that has some differences but sure sounds like yours. (Special thanks to attorney Chris Kleppin.)

Baruch Kahana

In March 2021, we explained that while we regularly counsel writing tight, sometimes you need a few extra words for the sake of clarity. Pretty much all parts of Florida voted for Harris and Trump. One or the other. Sentence should read “which parts voted for Harris and which for Trump.”

Sometimes people challenge us when we point out a spelling error. But sometimes writers make it easy for us. These can’t both be right! The top one is correct.

The advent of social media has allowed political candidates the luxury of putting stuff out there themselves, without letting campaign staff, or proofreaders, take a look. Might not be a great idea.

The son-in-law is the former Mr. France.

Oh, no! Another maligned comma. In case you missed the other thousand times we explained this: The comma works as a contraction of sorts. So this product’s instructions literally say:
“Wear face and eye protection.”
“Wear protective gloves.”
“Wear clothing.”
Who wants to spray this stuff naked?
We suspect they meant: “Wear face and eye protection and protective gloves and clothing.”

And we go to the video archives for Segment 84: Newspeak.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

A grammatical perfect storm!

A site is a location. The right word here is sights. And a weather system doesn’t have the ability to set its sights on anything. It has no sights.

Florida was bracing in the summer of 2024 for a storm that forecasters said absolutely was going to hit the state somewhere (which, sadly, it did.) Not potentially. What was potential was whether it would be a major hurricane. So: “Florida braces for potentially major hurricane to strike this week.”

When you clean up an area, you’re taking part in a cleanup. They got it right in the upper line. Go figure. Oh, and they misspelled residents.

We know you’re excited. But do you really need to say you’re number one, you’re the winner, and you’re the best? Just say it once. We’d use the “best of” one.

This is one of our all-star chronics. For the eleventy-billionth time: These say some person definitely robbed the store and definitely shot someone. Not allegedly. Not according to police. And not suspected of. Then it calls them suspects. They can’t be both. Just say: “Police say they are searching for person who robbed” and “Shooter gets on bike…” Don’t worry that you’re convicting someone. You don’t know who it is yet! When police name an actual individual whom they suspect of a crime, that person becomes the suspect. Get it?

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
We submit that "tight knit" and "close knit," in connection with communities and neighborhoods, is both a cliché and an "obviosity." How do you know it's a tight community? What would constitute a not-tight community?
The Rules Committee (Lou Ann) opines: “Perfectly good adjective but I can see how it could be misused or abused. To be used appropriately, knittedness would have to be clear from context.”

And we go to the video archives for Segment 83: “It’s People!”

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

English as a second language…

Robbie Kleinberg

We’ve said this. If English is not your first language, how hard is it to find someone who’s good at English to look over your text? Or google it. In today’s internet world, you probably could check these in, oh, 30 seconds. . Plus, you spelled “lantern” right in one place and wrong in another. C’mon.

Ramesh Nyberg

Here’s more. The advice we just gave is especially valuable when you are trying to scam people. The bad grammar sort of gives you away. Dontcha think?

Dear ____. A total of $096? You need to repeat scammer school altogether.

It works the other way around…

Dr. Baruch Kahana

A multi-course meal with a fixed price is prix fixe.

And what’s their excuse?

We’ve gone from season to season. And this STILL is 16 million dollars dollars.

And this still is a half penny.

Are you really congratulating me on the great accomplishment of successfully ordering something on line? Really? It’s not like I got through law school.

It takes only…

Amazon.com

Way back in January 2022, we talked about terms people use without realizing — or maybe without caring — that they’re shorthand for really, really, foul phrases. Ugh. You just remembered where you’re suggesting someone shove something.

Well, yes, wholistic is a rarely-used variation of holistic. We’re going to argue the writer didn’t know that.

We regularly beat up the TV folks over their gaffes, clichés and hyperbole when it comes to weather:

Who came up with this science/bureaucrat gobbledygook? “Tornadic activity” means “tornados.” So just say that.

And we’re guessing it’s forecasters who first used the term “moisture,” and TV picked it up. The sweat on the side of your glass of beer? That’s moisture. When flood waters are halfway up Seattle’s Space Needle, that’s more than moisture.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 82: "Womp bomp a loo-bomp, a-lomp bomp bomp!" https://youtu.be/UABE5QFK-Lk?si=h4co3qgYjHiyoYWM

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

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From the Grammar Police

A whale of a collection of modifiers misplaced

How about “man who sat on couch…” What a difference a word makes.

Actually, it was Lincoln who was attending the play when Booth snuck in to the theater to shoot him.

Officials at the orphanage already had met Castro. “Laney asked officials for a meeting with Castro.”

Fighters did not oust Assad on Friday at Umayyad Square. People celebrated Friday at the square.

And, of course, this mangled morass of modifiers — and hurricane of hyperbole — literally says, “These joggers blew our freaking minds after the joggers wore our freaking minds for two weeks straight.” (PS: Not big on “freaking.”)

We’ve addressed this many times, going way back to April 2021. “Embattled” means girded for battle. The word you want is “beleaguered.”

We spoke in August 2024 about how “temporary” usually is redundant.

The world contains numerous heiresses.

The “Horribly Wrong” team acknowledges that expecting smartphone apps — many of them international — to follow basic rules of English grammar and honesty is like expecting you actually win money on them. But we also are going to challenge the statement that, of the 1-billion-plus earthlings over the age of 60, nearly eight in nine use this app!

These clearly are hyperbole and clichés. Or can we let them go? Readers?

And we go to the video archives for Segment 81: The Grammar Police Meet The Gazpacho Police.

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

We’re starting our fifth year!

Martin Merzer

George Frideric Handel, oil on canvas by Thomas Hudson, c. 1736; in the Foundling Museum, London

C’mon. Lay. Lie. Lay. Lie.

We covered this way back in our fourth segment, in February 2021. Authorities have identified the person. They know who he is. They just haven’t told the public.

We first covered this in August 2022, and we still are amazed by the tone-deafness of it. You get home from work. You don’t know when the spray was applied on your lawn. Or you’re a neighbor walking your dog and it steps on this lawn. The question is: When is the lawn dry? How do we know when it’s dry? Some signs say “Dry in four hours” but don’t say when the stuff was applied. So is it dry? Heck. The worst that happens is that we get deadly pesticide on our hands or our dog’s tongue. That’s all. How hard would it be to grab a marker and write: “Dry 4:30 p.m?” Like this:

This is a favorite that probably belonged in our July 2024 segment on movie tropes. Of course, it’s not a desert island. Look at the photo. The word folks should be using is deserted.

We recently saw a TV commercial that said with a certain amazing drug, you’d lose a remarkable amount of weight in a short time. “With diet and exercise.” The with is key. Sure, the drug won’t work by itself. But you could run an ad that says, “You’ll lose weight if you just eat M&Ms. And diet and exercise.” Readers: Do your research before you buy a product that goes into your body.

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
Longtime reader and occasional contributor Dr. Baruch Kahana submits: “Among my favorite redundancies is, ‘I personally think …’ How does “personally” help here?”
The Rules Committee opines: “He is not wrong.” CONCUR.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 80: What's My Line?: https://youtu.be/JOHeh2FbItA?si=A48Xvi4ti5HZHvS2

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Calling all readers!

Happy New Year!

Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell editors, writers, teachers to tell their friends! Goal: double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

From the Grammar Police

Old Lang’s Sign

https://temporaryservices.org/

Grammatic diarrhea

People bend backward metaphorically, but in real life, they bend just one way. Down.

“Accuse” and allege are the same thing.

Queue and line are the same thing. Just say, “stood in long lines…”

If someone’s been charged with murder, the shooting already was deadly. (PS: We don’t like “deadly.” It means “capable of causing death.” Clearly, in this case, it already happened.)

Great news! It’s open. Better yet, it’s open! How about: “…will be open normal hours on Memorial Day, May 27.” We got 29 words down to 13.

Yes, every day people wander the halls until they locate the permit or the ice machines or the exit. The word is redundant. Bonuses: Personal safety is redundant. Isn’t it? And then there’s the maligned comma. Machines are on floors 10, 15, and 18, and in the lobby. And lose all the upper case!

All you need: “Credit card purchases require physical card and photo ID.” Nine words.
We say retailers, just like everyone else, should write tight. Some might argue some shoppers are slow and need to be hit over the head. Readers?

And we go to the video archives for Segment 79: More Hiding in Plain Sight: https://youtu.be/ZZwXrZqo50I?si=LmQF2eaM-JcqvWwL

Items before the Assizes:
Oyez, Oyez, Oyez! On the docket:
Eliot requested the Rules Committee (Lou Ann) check our “style” bible, the Associated Press Stylebook, and opine on the following:
ELIOT: I argue the phrase '“3D printing" is wrong. "Printing" is about ink on paper. What these machines are doing is manufacturing solid objects. What sayeth the Rules Committee?
RULES COMMITTEE: “Brave new language world. 3D printing is preferred over the technically more accurate ‘additive manufacturing.’”

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

‘Tis the season for giving. And for goofs!

Kathy Dull

We’ve covered this before. Out of every four people, how many suffer? One. So one person in four suffers.

We’ve talked at length about the cowardly use of qualifiers. This is a three-fer! All you need is one: “Prosecutors say they could wrap in two weeks.”

The DA (district attorney) is nearing the end of his/her case. You can say “prosecution nears end of its case.”

We covered many times, back to in 2021, in our second segment! All felons are convicted. Just say "felon.”

It wasn’t the entire campus that was razed. Just one building on it.

Umm, anyplace and anywhere are the same thing.

Saying something’s happening on Long Island isn’t very specific. It’s a 100-plus-mile island covered by two counties, 13 towns, two cities, 97 villages, 173 hamlets, more than 120 public school districts and more than 900 taxing districts. Good luck finding the rally. But what we really want to point out is something we dealt with in our segment on geographical disqualifiers way back in November 2021. You can say Albany, N.Y., Buffalo, N.Y., or Cooperstown, N.Y. They are cities. Long Island is not.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 78: What’s in a name, Olympus edition. https://youtu.be/C-FnP5aE82Q?si=WlwJk1AhTbBMg8D9

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

It’s a bounty of goofs!

James Coleman/Palm Beach Post

A queen reigns. You take the reins.

The leadership says it will vote. House leaders say they’ll vote. Pick one.

Umm, no, thanks.

You give/show respect. But you pay respects.

We mentioned this way back in January 2021, and several times since: Leaving prison does NOT make you an ex-felon. You now are an ex-inmate or ex-convict. But you’re still a felon! You still are someone who was convicted of a felony.
(But wait. There’s more! We have a misplaced modifier! The 7,000 people didn’t complete their sentences last week. The voting rights were reinstated last week.)

Ahh. Good old “all is not.” One more time: This says not a single instance of media trust is the same. What the headline should have said: “Not all media trust is created equal.”
(The Horribly Wrong team has been on the record that it doesn’t like “media.” Mainly because, as with the blind men and the elephant, you can’t find two people to agree on what “the media” is.)

These acronyms started as code for telegraphers and later were used in dispatches sent to news outlets by wire services. Now they’re common. Does everyone know what they mean? Readers?

And we go to the video archives for Segment 77: Watt’s in a name? https://youtu.be/XimRMXn3olw?si=Hms_6PWG93gscf7y

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

A Frankenstein’s monster born of the dreaded homophone and the limits of autocorrect.
Oh, the horror!

When someone is your lawyer, he’s counsel.

The writer likely meant flak, the military term for incoming fire.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 76: What’s in a name? https://youtu.be/hQVSnrqZBUM?si=IK10V6ZA5G0i9XXe

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

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Segment 100: Orange socks

It’s our 100th segment!!!

Readers: “Something Went Horribly Wrong” debuted in January 2021. We said from the beginning that our goal was not to be snooty or humiliate people, but to educate you about the importance of good writing. Clear writing. Tight writing. Grammatically correct writing. Accurate writing.
You’ve noted our format: Every other week, we post a segment covering a rule, and a listing of violations thereof. In the off week, we display the dogged work of our Grammar Police.
There’s a term in journalism: You “buried the lead.” Yes. We’ve committed that very crime.
Here’s the news:
We are, at least for now, “closing the canon” on the rules segments at an even 100. We’ll do weekly “encore” postings of segments (that’s a euphemism for “repeats”). And, in alternating weeks, we’ll continue weekly reports by the Grammar Police. So keep ‘em coming!
We’ve acknowledged that language is an evolving thing. And that there’s no fine or jail time for lousy writing. (We’d have to build a lot more prisons!) But we did make this argument: People say they never would wear orange socks to a black-tie affair because it would make them look stupid. But every day, all day, they write stupid things.
We’ve said that very few of you will write for a living. But all of you need to know how to write. You don’t necessarily have to be a great writer. But you really should be a correct writer.
This is a great moment to say thank you, thank you, thank you for your loyalty over the past nearly three years. And your continued loyalty as we battle on. As the Spanish say, “¡Adelante!” Onward.
Eliot Kleinberg, chief writer
Lou Ann Frala, “Rules Committee.”

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Spell check!

Ramesh Nyberg

Phenomena is plural. This was a phenomenon.

Some might argue we are nitpicking. Tender and juicy are tactile senses. You don’t taste tender or juicy.

For now, let’s not point out the use of a period, instead of a colon, after “operation.” More importantly, on which days is this place closed? Right. None. So just say, “Open every day.”

Does anyone have 50 reunions? No. This was the 50-year reunion. (Confession: Eliot was an organizer of a similar reunion and made a similar goof!)

This is a bit of newspaper “inside baseball.” And we were going to let it go. But it happened twice in a week. In the same newspaper.
When a story is shared with numerous outlets, the reporter or original editor sometimes inserts a note such as this, telling editors at the other papers that, if they need to cut because of their space limitations, this would be a logical spot in the storytelling to do so. But, of course, it’s incumbent on the new editor, before sending the story to the printing press, to REMOVE THE NOTE!
The “Horribly Wrong” team — comprising a semiretired reporter and copy editor — often has defended newspapers, which, because of declining income, don’t have enough proofreaders. And said that, if you see a lot of mistakes, you can fix that by subscribing and advertising so papers can hire more.
But, this is something that makes a reader say “huh?”, as we covered June 30, 2023, and again October 20, 2023. A non-journalist spotted both of these at the kitchen table. How did they get past all editors?

And we go to the video archives for Segment 75: Even More Clichés. https://youtu.be/oBzRQ8kfg2o?si=3SnO6i3jjXE2p6Yy

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 99: More “Huh?”

In June 2024, we talked about lines that cause you stop and say, “That doesn’t make sense!” And, “If I saw the goof instantly, why didn’t the writers/editors? In fact, how many editors missed this?” We asked those questions then. And we’re still asking.

1. “My basic priority is law and order, reducing crime, and making our residents extremely proud…” (submitted by Dr. Baruch Kahana.)
   Sounds like more than one priority, dontcha think? And your priorities are presumed to be your basic ones. So say “my priorities are.”

2. “This remarkable journey…from a completely irrelevant basketball program to one now on the national conscious…”
   National consciousness. (We also have seen writers use conscience for conscious, and vice versa!) Also, completely irrelevant is redundant. Irrelevant is an absolute. You can’t be a little irrelevant.

3. “Bear in mind that all women are not cheaters.”
   We covered this back in September 2021. This says not a single woman is a cheater. Oh, that it were so. Sadly, some women are cheaters. So this should be, “not all women are cheaters.”

4. Teacher’s aid arrested.” (Submitted by Keith Nelson.)
   Teacher’s aide.

5. “…she tried to tap the breaks, telling him that she wanted to be friends.”
   Give me a break. You tap brakes.

6. “…with a lot of good ideas and more than a little daring-do.”
   “Derring-do” refers to acting courageously and goes all the way back to Chaucer. (Note: The “My Little Pony” folks have created the character “Daring do.” Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot.)

7. “Farmers and cows work as a team to bring you the freshest milk.”
   Cows are not working with farmers as a team.

8. “(Feminine hygiene product) has up to zero leaks.”
   This is a two-fer. It’s grammatically incorrect; you would want to say the product has “as little as zero leaks.” But wait! there’s more! Any product has as little as zero leaks. Think about it.

9. “After being preserved as evidence for the shooter's trial, crews are set to tear down the three-story building by pieces starting Friday.”
   Our friend old, the modifier misplaced. The crews were not preserved as evidence.

10. “As a proud owner of (product), we want to make sure you have the use & care information necessary to keep your product in optimal shape.“
    See #9. You’re the proud owner, not them.

11. “Suspect arrested in shooting, robbery attempt.”
    You need to write in chronological order. The first thing that happened was the robbery attempt.

12. “Trump talked about executing people at multiple meetings.”
    ”Umm, I won’t be at today’s meeting. I have a..a..I have to take my goldfish to the vet. Yeah. That’s it.”

13. "He stopped in the middle of the pulpit, pulled the gun out and it just jammed," Germany recalled, before covering his face with his hands and trying to take cover.
    In this story about a failed shooting in a church, you could read this not one, not two, but three different ways! Did Pastor Germany, while talking to the reporter, cover his face with his hands and try to take cover? Is he recalling to the reporter that he took cover during the incident? Or that the shooter did that? We’ve read this several times and we’re still not sure.

Next time: Orange socks.

Calling all readers! Do you like "Something Went Horribly Wrong?" It's a labor of love. But we need more followers. Tell your friends! Tell Editors, Writers, Teachers to tell their friends! Goal: double our mailing list in a month. You can do it! http://ekfla.com/newsletter

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

That’s some collapse! Kills six and sends three dozen flying to the hospital!

Longtime reader and occasional contributor Dr. Baruch E. Kahana asked us why people wrongly use unchartered for uncharted. Think maps.

Yeah. If it’s 614 degrees, I’d wanna check my A/C!

Umm, the pain doesn’t need any help.

Here we go again.
Here’s what this says: ”Do not soak in mouthwash, do not soak in denture cleanser, do not soak in hot water and do not soak in place in direct sunlight.”
Correct: “Do not soak in mouthwash, denture cleaner, or hot water, or place in direct sunlight.”

And this one says: “Thousands of pumpkins, thousands of hayrides, thousands of food and thousands of fun.”
Correct: “Thousands of pumpkins, plus hayrides, food and fun.”
Remember: The comma substitutes for something. Think about it!

And we go to the video archives for Segment 74: Spanish is easy! https://youtu.be/vzU3FLgw6_E?si=jLbFCRXduPPw96Xc

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

Segment 98: More dumb sports

BigCatCountry.com

Back on May 8, 2022, we took on some of the dumb things sports writers, sports announcers, sports marketers and sports teams say. No one should have expected we were done. Or will be. After all, there’s always next year!

1. “Quarterback suspended for violating team rules.”
Sports teams have gotten away with this for years. The phrase means absolutely nothing. Obviously the guy violated team rules. That could be anything. It would be as stupid as saying “Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested on Nov. 22, 1963, in Dallas, for violating Texas state law.”
The question you, the reader, want someone to ask — and the one any competent reporter must ask — is what rules? And if officials won’t tell, the story has to say that: “…was suspended for violating unspecified team rules.” “…undisclosed team rules.” “…team rules that officials did not spell out.” “…that officials would not spell out.” “…that officials refused to spell out.” And of course, “Officials not only would not say which rule was violated but also did not say what the person allegedly did.”
Just saying “violated team rules” gives them a pass.

2. “Wow! All these people from Buffalo came down to Miami for the game!”
The Horribly Wrong team is based in South Florida. Unless you live in a cave, you know the area is jammed with transplants. At any given Marlins, Dolphins, Heat, or Panthers game, you invariably will find the visitors being vociferously rooted on by former residents who moved down but stayed loyal to their old team. That won’t stop stupid sports announcers from making the stupid statement shown. Yes, some people rooting for the Bills are vacationing, or “snowbirds,” part-time residents. But most live here.

3. “Wow! All these people came from Tuscaloosa to Atlanta for this game!”
Do any Penn State alumni live in Philadelphia? Wisconsin alumni in Chicago? Arizona alumni in Los Angeles? That’s who’s in the stands rooting for the visiting school. Not people who live in the small college town. C’mon.

4. “Diaz has now given up seven runs over his last 2.1 innings pitched.”
We’ve seen this more than once. Explaining the goof requires, well, “inside baseball.” An inning is three outs. So statisticians split innings into thirds. Diaz gave up seven runs over his last two and one third innings. Which every elementary school student knows is not the same as 2.1 innings.

5. “With our marketing plans, you’ll hit a home run with your clients!”
“Our cattle feed mix is a slam dunk for your dairy operation!”
“With our power tools, you’ll have a power play on your next project!”
“Sack high prices at Foodway!”
Can we finally call foul on moronic sports metaphors? Please?

6. “Both benches emptied, resulting in a full-pledged brawl.”
Not full-pledged. It’s full-fledged, meaning fully developed. It stems from an old English word for feathered. And it’s a cliché.

7. “…giving his Puerto Rico team the win in the championship game and sending the sold-out crowd of 36,025 at LoanDepot Park into a frenzy.”
Sixteen teams took part in this event. Even if only fans of the finalists attended the title game, it’s likely that, at most, half of the sold-out crowd went into a frenzy. The other half was pretty bummed.

8. “Ohtani's choice of the Dodgers, who play in the nation's second-largest media market, only enhances his stature, and that of his sport.”
Japanese superstar Shohei Ohtani moved to the Los Angeles Dodgers from the Angels, who play in Anaheim. Thirty miles away. They’re even called the Los Angeles Angels. He already was in the second-largest media market.

9. “A big game tonight in South Beach.”
Some sportscasters have decided that South Beach, which encompasses a few blocks at the southern end of Miami Beach, is an accurate term for the multicounty, multimillion person South Florida region. Hollywood, California, suffers from this as well. For the record, no sports teams play in South Beach. Yes, you could argue it’s colloquial. But will you give us a dollar for every tourist who comes to South Beach looking for an arena?

10. “Big U hopes to continue its 28-game winning streak, while Eastern State is spoiling for an upset.”
In this promo, “Spoiling for an upset” means, “We are desperately searching for clever wording to get someone, anyone, to watch this rout.”

12. “And they (NFL players) do not want to be interviewed when they’re naked. [And] to open the door for doing some solutioning of what could be more effective.”
Old friend, and occasional contributor, Rob Yankowitz, reminds us of the dastardly habit of “verbing.” That’s arbitrarily turning words into verbs, in direct violation of the laws of nature. Corporate types are most guilty of this felony. How about, “….to find a better solution.”

12. “Linebacker Roger Jones is struggling with personal issues.”
“The arraignment is Tuesday.”

Watch this on video: https://youtu.be/FFZ7E-9oADY?si=HRbGHoBFzd-fQ_kb

Next time: More of “Huh?”

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong," features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police:” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!

From the Grammar Police

Where that modifier did I put? Did misplace it I again?

An abortion medication had a wife. Who knew?

Bob D’Angelo

Can a 14-year-old buy a store?

Jan Norris

So the 19-year-old girlfriend is 49?
(PS: We will not reward these “news” vultures by identifying the celebrity they were tormenting.)

These deaths were tragedies. But let’s write properly. A skydiver didn’t die twice. How about: “Second skydiver death in two years at Florida airport.”

Did you really mean to say this was about the painting value, whatever that is, of a massive dying aunt? Probably not.

If I was that shopping center, I’d be put out, too.

The man was from Florida. But not in Florida. The next line makes it clear. The man — sadly — fatally set himself afire outside Donald Trump’s “hush money” trial in New York.

And we go to the video archives for Segment 73: Canadian Club. https://youtu.be/gUTKiaT12H8?si=fYCqLOtV_bKqGlKo

Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com

Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!

NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!