From the Grammar Police
Think twice. Write once.
We no TV people who right these our in a hurry. But if ewe use autocorrect, Czech it be four you putt it on the err!
How many different ways do you run off?
Robbie Kleinberg
We suspect the intended word was elixirs. Hope the neon guys gave this shop a discount.
It would be bad enough if sportswriters stuck to hyperbole, brutal clichés, and dumb sports metaphors. But they also misplace modifiers like a rookie quarterback throws into coverage. Did ESPN go 3-6 for 14 yards etc. in Shedeur Sanders’ preseason final? No. It did not.
We’ll bet a Taylor Swift concert ticket that this person didn’t spend all of his or her waking moments doing these things. Then he/she aggravates things by adding the brutal “literally.”
Dr. Baruch Kahana
When someone misspeaks, traditionally, the reporter would point out to her, “Did you mean ‘avoidable?’”
PS: We found out Zoey was a bot!
First, this wasn’t close to “near death.” And we know very few shark “attacks” actually are attacks. More importantly: This animal — lemon sharks are not considered aggressive and rarely bite humans — was minding its own business in the ocean when a hook malevolently hidden in food stabbed it in the mouth and a fishing line yanked it onto the beach, where it gasped to breathe while laughing humans stood over it and arched its back so they could take pictures, until its head came free and it lashed out his brutal captors. So we ask: Who attacked whom?
And we go to the video archives for Segment 97: Pinocchios
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!
NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!