From the Grammar Police
No harm, no foul
Hooray! Someone finally got the maligned comma rule right! This literally says to advise if:
You are pregnant
You may be pregnant
You may be a nursing mother.
It could have been tightened to: “If you are pregnant, may be pregnant, or are a nursing mother.” And we’d have gone with might instead of may, But we’re just thrilled to see this correct usage!
This was an unfortunate selection of words. It makes sense after a minute. This was a museum showing the history of human development. So a first glance reads, “This way to the exhibit that shows the timeline from human origins to mammals and rest rooms.” Yikes.
We were going to declare this a “no duh.” All cases are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, right? Well, no. Some people are given leniency or take part in deals. Grammatically, we would note that “full extent of the law” already means the maximum. Also, it’s a brutal cliché. But we’ll let this go.
Besides putting “just” in the wrong place (It takes just one storm), this also is a brutal cliché. But the Horribly Wrong team lives in South Florida. And you’d be amazed how many people need to be reminded of this ridiculously simple but necessary fact.
We were going to invoke the Strunk Rule (Avoid unnecessary words) and suggest omitting the last three words. But, as with hurricanes, we demur in the interest of making a really important point. See drawing.
This sign contains no grammatical errors. As residents of Florida, we are going to declare it an all-star “no duh.” But, OK.
We’ve said this before. Next time you criticize someone who’s struggling with English, keep in mind that it’s their second language. Or third. Or fourth. Most of us still are struggling with our first.
As a rule, the “Horribly Wrong” would leap all over this error-riddle entry, especially since, beside misusing “include,” the writer butchers the names of many of the actual popular candies Eliot hides in his desk drawer. But this was part of an event raising money to help victims of domestic abuse. The Rules Committee therefore withholds adjudication and sentences the defendants to mandatory education in the use of Google Search.
And we go to the video archives for Segment 88: Ben Franklin’s Hat.
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
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NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!
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