From the Grammar Police
Avoid and eschew the unnecessary and unwanted addition and usage and inclusion of unnecessary words and phrases and words!
Write as if you are paying by the word. If you can leave out a word or words and the phrase still makes sense, remove it!
Note: We reduced the above monstrosity to three words. Can you? Write eliot@eliotkleinberg.com.
In this case, a word isn’t just unnecessary. It’s confusing. This sentence could be read that the president held several cabinet meetings and this was the first one Elon Musk attended. Here, you can do addition by subtraction: “Trump holds first cabinet meeting. Musk in attendance.”
We’ve complained often about people misusing “suspect.” In this case, it’s used correctly. But it’s redundant! If authorities are holding you, you are a suspect, or in this case, have graduated to a defendant. So use the space for something of value: “Local man held…”
Same. First you say he’s the alleged shooter. Then you definitely say he killed the two people. Pick one. Easy fix: “Police allege a 32-year-old Texas man killed a woman and a man in…” Shorter too!
We will argue anyone who has stayed in a hotel knows the first number of your room is the floor. Readers?
And sometimes you need to add a word…
This unintelligible graphic can be fixed with one word: “More than every major Canadian city.” And how about a period after “winter?”
And sometimes more than one word…
You’ve heard about familiarity breeding contempt. Military people, and reporters who regularly write about the military, know exactly how many people are in each of these entities. Do you? We don’t. Ten? A thousand? Without that information, they’re worthless.
And we go to the video archives for Segment 83: “It’s people!”
Readers: "Something Went Horribly Wrong" features samples of bad writing we see nearly every day. You can participate! Be our duly deputized “grammar police.” Your motto: “To protect and correct.” Send in your photos of store signs, street signs, menus, TV news graphics, newspaper headlines, tweets, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a grammatical error. It can be just what we call “cowardly writing.” Include your name and home town so we can credit you properly. You're free to add a comment, although we reserve the right to edit or omit. Now get out there! Send to Eliot@eliotkleinberg.com
Haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet? Do it now! And tell your friends!
NOTE: Eliot and Lou Ann are available for speaking engagements, and can travel. Reach us through the comments section. Just think of all of your employees getting back to work on a Monday, their heads filled with all the ways we’ve shown them to be better communicators!